Awakening to the Self

Awakening is spoken about, yet rarely felt. Many of us seek this feeling, sensing that it will alter us for the better. What is it to awaken? To see things as they truly are in the now. Lights on and no secrets. Sometimes harsh. Too bright. Too much information. An instant download of things exactly as they are. No filter.

 I heard a quote that said "Awakening is the ultimate blow to the ego." ...Until now, I did not know. "What was I thinking...?"Mind blown. I have experienced it in this way: Like I've been punched right in the gut or slapped in the face. Made to laugh. Had my hand slammed in a door. Time and time again, I find myself waking up.

• When the planes crashed into the towers.
• When my father died while I was out of the room making a call. 
• Watching my siblings wake up slowly on a Sunday morning and witnessing my brother tell them their father is dead. "Is this really happening?" I could feel myself think as the moment unfurled. 
• The blows I have taken, literally in the face by some men I never knew except in that intimate moment which forever branded my soul that June night. 
• The sound of lightning so loud that I stopped to take note, and later that day encountered a woman who had seen the surfer who had been struck in that moment. 
• The stark naked feeling of a two thousand person audience that was palpable to me as a 14 year old performing on stage for the first time. Me, gasping silently. 
• The light of the sun shining in my eyes. 
• My father's rage cutting me through the pain in his eyes. 
• My first fluffy cat, getting stuck under an oak wood chair, and the herculean surge running through my adrenaline laden 3 year old body coming to the rescue. 

Awaken.

After a particular heightened experience I had with a shaman,  a simple profound thought arose within me: the gift it EXACTLY WHO YOU ARE. Nothing added to that. To not be afraid to see the self. Naked. No decoration. It happens in a flash.

Just a thought for you, on this regular Saturday.

Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water.
After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water.

Praying by Alex Grey

Transformation: One Step at a Time

New beginnings. New Year, New You.

These are the things we hear as we enter a new year. As if at the stroke of midnight on December 31st, the slate is wiped clean and we are immediately stripped of our past patterns and habits. We can begin again, refreshed, renewed and ready for another chance at perfection by striving for our loftiest goals and setting grand intentions.

Perhaps it's a simple step. A series of choices and decisions in the present moment make the future. Each moment is an opportunity to open up the places that are hiding love. The subconscious places where we choose not to look are what truly drive us toward our apparent destiny. What if, instead of moving and climbing toward the goal...and away from the very thing that motivates us...we chose to look beneath the surface at what is really there.

What if I could look at my selfishness squarely, head on and see for myself it's not that bad. What if beneath the selfishness is a sense of lack? What if I could admit my need to be right at all costs? What if I could announce my desire for love and my fear of unlovability? I wonder if sitting with these motivators could disable their power. I wonder if inviting them into the room, with the lights on would make them interesting company. I wonder if the act of "sitting with" and ownership could change the nature of the beast, the same way that the observer alters the science experiment.

Transformation happens one step at a time. The metamorphosis appears to happen in an instance, yet the tedious and daily preparation are required. Each day of sitting and waiting contains a great feat of inner strength. I feel this for myself prior to any peak moment in my journey.

Just before a giant leap, there are psychic steps I take. Primarily, letting go and releasing the need to control what comes next. As the new year begins, my opportunity for transformation is supported by the need to return to the inner workings of my heart. Finding where the fear lives, and loving it into submission. These are the actions I take. Not running, but slowing down. Feeling the burn.

Find ways to be present to what is hidden. Allow the alchemy to occur. Be still. It's January. Time to go within. This stillness is where it all begins. Every single goal you have starts now. Begin it now by being with yourself. That is the one most important first step to your transformation.

Hibernating for Winter

With all of the holiday celebration surrounding us, hibernation seems counter intuitive. Yet the rhythm of nature tells us, with it's cooler weather and shortened days, that this is the time to turn inward. Rather than moving into action, take the time for internal self-care and self-examination. It is fitting that work and school schedules pause and that we take a short break from the momentum that has built since last Summer. Gather energy and data so that when Spring arrives in March, you are able to intelligently plant your seeds in fertile soil.

Nature has a wisdom, and different times are for different actions. Winter is for heartier foods in smaller portions. Winter is for indoor sports or for enduring the challenging elements of the outdoors. It is time to slow down and take stock of where you are on your path, for it is essential in order to map out your course. Holiday time is a marker for what it was like last year. I always like to do an end of the year wrap up, creating a list of my accomplishments, my trials, changes, trips, and anything notable that occurred in this year.

Here are some ideas for slowing down and going inward:

• Cook something hearty, like butternut squash soup, or a stew with all the vegetables in your fridge. Take the time to try out a new Winter recipe to share with family or friends.
• Read a novel. I enjoy going back to the classics. Henry Miller, D.H. Lawrence or Dostoevsky. Choose something rich with description. Perhaps an author you missed along the way.
• Practice yoga at home. There is nothing harder than leaving your home when it's dark or chilly out. Commit to creating an exercise regiment or yoga practice that you can do in your home at least twice a week.
• Get outside. Bundle up and take a walk. Being connected to the elements is another way to get in sync with nature.
• Up level your meditation practice. In the stillness of Winter meditations become deeper. 
• Hot water bottle. Nothing like a warm body, or bottle in your bed. 
• Green Tea. Stimulating and a great anti-oxidant, green tea is my go-to. Try Jasmine Green.
• Catch up on your binge watching! I admit that I am not the best at this. I usually let someone else take the lead, and jump in on their binge watching. Nothing like a little entertainment to help you relax your busy mind.
• Podcasts. Yup. That App on your iPhone has a lot to tell you. I love The Moth and This American Life.

Join me in slowing down, and enjoying it! All will get done. Nothing to accomplish. Nowhere to go, except inward. 

Holiday Gift Wish List

Dear Santa,

Here is my Holiday Wish List: 

Veronica Rose Becoming Clear Ring

BNYXOJM Jennifer Meyer's Apron Dress

Persephenie Jade Camellia Body Balm

Alexis Smart Flower Remedy: My Personal Assistant 

The Life You Were Born To Live by Dan Millman

Yogalosophy: 28 Days to the Ultimate Mind Body Makeover

Angel Cards

Ele Keats Flower of Life ring

A tarot card reading with Nadine Kijner

Sextrology by Starsky and Cox

I AM FREE Affrim Mat

Miraculous Silence by Mitra Rabhar

Unlimited 1 month pass to Moore Dance Studio

OSHO Zen Tarot Deck

Subscription to Mountain Astrologer

Gift Certificate to JUICE SERVED HERE

2 plane tickets to Maui

Yogalosophy DVD

10 Sessions at Foundation Pilates

A copy of the movie AWAKE

Zen Bunni Lost Salt of Atlantis Chocolate Pack

Thank you for your consideration. 

Love, 

Mandy

New Moon Musings

The new moon falls in Sagittarius on Friday December 11th. The energy of Sagittarius is normally expansive and abundant. It is ruled by the planet Jupiter which is larger than life. That explains why this time of year is naturally filled with celebration and even excess. This season, the typically exuberant energy of Sadge is tempered by the planet Saturn ( in the sign of Sagittarius for the next two years.) Saturn is restrictive and brings lessons. It insists upon a thorough job and will not settle for the broad strokes and vision alone. It wants to make things tangible and real. The dreams and visions of the Sadge journey can be concretized this year, however we may need to slow down and map the journey out for now. Jupiter (the ruling planet of Sadge) is in Virgo, humbling the energy even further. It’s time to mind the details. While this may not be the most jovial holiday season of late, it could be a time for growing in true humility and for stabilizing and making real your loftiest dreams. The energy of Sagittarius likes to journey, so a long distance run or taking a bike tour through a distant land are good outlets for the energy. Expansion can mean expansion around the waistline, so be careful not to overindulge….Prayer and any religious ritual of any religion is interesting and favored at this time. Select the God of your understanding and dance under the moonlight in thanks!

YOGALOSOPHY FOR THE HOLIDAYS!

The time has come for feasting, expansion and celebration. Of course, in the midst of all the Holiday cheer, we strive to meet deadlines, entertain our relatives and take stock of what the year has been. Along with this, world affairs pull our attention to the tension. With so much jam packed into a few short weeks, December can cause massive overload. During this time of year, it is essential to take space and make room for you. More than ever, scheduling time just for you is the key. Here are a few yoga cures.

Ways to handle holiday blues: 
• Do energizing poses like bridge, wheel or camel.
• Eat spicy or warming foods. Try cinnamon, curry or chili flakes.
• Dance!

Ways to relax and calm down: 
• Staycation. Unplug from responsibility and take a few days to do all the things you love.
• Cooking. Try a healthy recipe from a magazine like LA Yoga Magazine or GFF.
• Soothing epsom salt bath. Add a few drops of lavender oil to relax your nervous system.

Yogalosophy Gift Ideas!

     

While this has not been my easiest year, its been a great year for self-intimacy and a growing relationship to spirit. I feel incredibly grateful to have all of you in my sphere and I wish you all a happy and healthy holiday season.

As we wrap up 2015, let us not forget the great gifts it has brought with it as we move forward into the new year. I can’t wait to share more with you about some upcoming projects in 2016!

Expand Your Perception

It's that time of year. You know what I mean. It's the time of year for expanding waistlines, more parties than you can handle, the ocean of sorrow that we are globally steeped in...it's the time of year when we are reminded of those wishes that never came true, the things we didn't accomplish last year, the deadlines we must meet....yesterday. It's that time when we miss those we have lost EVEN MORE and when we caste our hopes and dreams for the upcoming year. It's that time of year when family taunts us, haunts us and gives us gratitude. It's that time of year where the hunger and the sorrow runs even deeper. The time of year for giving... (and forgiving). It's the time of year that magnifies all of the above.

Sound familiar? Feel familiar? It's over load....isn't it? There's so much energy out there, and in here....pulling me in multiple directions. Yet, I am swimming in confusion and the inability to make a move. There are too many to make! I feel like I'm drowning in it all. Still I have hope and feel excitement. But...the details. I must stay on top of the details.

In order to gain perspective, I must expand my perception. I am imagining the inside of my mind where there is a mountain of ideas, thoughts and business. If I climb to the top of it and get some space. Claim my space, and sit. Here. I begin to breathe. I am able to feel and sense my body. My mind begins to turn off. The din in my mind becomes a faint whisper. It begins to sound more like a wind. In and out. In and out. Breathing. Breathing.

My mind becomes more of a canvas. I ask for the wisdom to paint the picture and I start to feel open and see more clearly. In times of intense excitement and stress...perhaps times when we become afraid of what we may not get or of what we may lose...it is important to settle in. I often hear and read that fear and love cannot exist at the same time. What if...the fear is there to strengthen my courage. In fact, there could be no move towards growth unless I had to muster the courage to find peace even amidst the fear.

These are the thoughts I have today. This is the idea the life has painted upon my canvas today. I don't have to force myself to feel the love. I don't have to erase the fear feeling. I can today embrace the the fear. I can love it, knowing that without it, I could not gain in strength and courage. Expansion(contraction), expansion(contraction). Inhale. Exhale. Life. Death. Repeat. Expansion. Expansion. Expansion.

Happy Thanksgiving.