It's that time of year. You know what I mean. It's the time of year for expanding waistlines, more parties than you can handle, the ocean of sorrow that we are globally steeped in...it's the time of year when we are reminded of those wishes that never came true, the things we didn't accomplish last year, the deadlines we must meet....yesterday. It's that time when we miss those we have lost EVEN MORE and when we caste our hopes and dreams for the upcoming year. It's that time of year when family taunts us, haunts us and gives us gratitude. It's that time of year where the hunger and the sorrow runs even deeper. The time of year for giving... (and forgiving). It's the time of year that magnifies all of the above.
Sound familiar? Feel familiar? It's over load....isn't it? There's so much energy out there, and in here....pulling me in multiple directions. Yet, I am swimming in confusion and the inability to make a move. There are too many to make! I feel like I'm drowning in it all. Still I have hope and feel excitement. But...the details. I must stay on top of the details.
In order to gain perspective, I must expand my perception. I am imagining the inside of my mind where there is a mountain of ideas, thoughts and business. If I climb to the top of it and get some space. Claim my space, and sit. Here. I begin to breathe. I am able to feel and sense my body. My mind begins to turn off. The din in my mind becomes a faint whisper. It begins to sound more like a wind. In and out. In and out. Breathing. Breathing.
My mind becomes more of a canvas. I ask for the wisdom to paint the picture and I start to feel open and see more clearly. In times of intense excitement and stress...perhaps times when we become afraid of what we may not get or of what we may lose...it is important to settle in. I often hear and read that fear and love cannot exist at the same time. What if...the fear is there to strengthen my courage. In fact, there could be no move towards growth unless I had to muster the courage to find peace even amidst the fear.
These are the thoughts I have today. This is the idea the life has painted upon my canvas today. I don't have to force myself to feel the love. I don't have to erase the fear feeling. I can today embrace the the fear. I can love it, knowing that without it, I could not gain in strength and courage. Expansion(contraction), expansion(contraction). Inhale. Exhale. Life. Death. Repeat. Expansion. Expansion. Expansion.