Inhale. Exhale. Continue...
The breath is the bridge from the mind to the body, and as that pathway gets accessed it can lead to many feelings and emotions that have been in lock down. One of my personal challenges...or "opportunities" is to move from my head down towards my heart.
Growing up in a yoga-practicing, vegan household with open minded parents and a supportive schooling environment did not make my family "functional". Yes, I had more opportunities to learn a skill set and develop tools to process the volatility in my home, but the war zone was still there. In short: the climate was hot in my family and I had to be quick. I sometimes held my breath.
Survival instincts lead to control and even served me well in many areas of my life. There were very few hits I could not take. Inhale. Exhale. Continue.
Feeling my feelings has been an awkward journey for me. In my former career, as an actress, I felt safe in classes or within my process to express the feelings and emotions that I had kept bottled up in my home life. With the structure of a scene or behind the persona of a role, I could actually allow my feelings to flow. In my real life, I had a tendency to be "over dramatic" and play my feelings out loud, simply so that I could rid myself of the burden.
After a lot of progress, lessons and transformations that I made, life continues to unfold, taking twists and turns that I did not expect. My habitual response to shrink back, attack, assume the worst, or plan my future in an attempt to side step my feelings has left me very tense. I have many opportunities to take a pause and make a new choice, but first I need to be willing to feel. Let is flow. I am exploring something new. When I feel a feeling, I allow it and I literally imagine breathing God into my pain. I lay my emotions down and give them away to the universe. "Please take this and do something positive with it."
In the past, I could take that emotional energy and literally change my body with it. Use the feelings that flow through me for fuel and burn. Today, it isn't my body that needs toning. Today what requires a little heavy lifting is my spirit. My faith. So today, I let it flow. Trusting that the universe is delivering to me exactly what I need for my spiritual growth.
I choose to drop into my heart. I finally choose to exhale and let it flow. So be it.