Respectful Relationships

Happy Fall. The Equinox is the perfect balance of light and dark. The sun and moon holding court equally, representing the masculine and feminine polarity.  There is a joy in the harvest of all the seeds we planted in Spring. (Think back to your intentions and see how they have played out. Notice the fruits of your labor.) There is also an inventory to take. Did I succeed? What could I have done more gracefully and where was I thrown off-balance? How might I shift things today, to avoid harsh conditions? If the past two years have not been all fun and games, they have certainly held some major lessons in responsibility and respect. Both for ourselves and others. Relationships, like balance poses, are in constant flux. A balance pose is anything but rested and peaceful. It is dynamic. The stillness is the holding point that contains the energy of opposites.  

In balance poses we can learn how to set our gaze on a point that does not move, so as not to be distracted by the external bright and shiny objects that may derail us and take us on circuitous paths. When the gaze is still, the mind is still, teaching us not to be swayed by what we see. Particularly when we compare ourselves, or second guess our decisions and listen to our thinking minds, we face unnecessary self-doubt. You will notice that if you follow your thoughts when in a balancing pose, you will literally fall. Focus on something constant. Your internal rhythm. Your breath.

To maintain balance, we must also commit fully. Equal grounding and extension. When I look at trees, I remember I heard once, that the roots extend as deep into the earth as the tree is tall. That reminds me, in order to grow, I must ground. Ground into my self, my life and my home. This way, when the opportunity arises to get out into the world, I am ready for the growth spurt and outward expression. Meanwhile, I stretch myself and extend as far as I possibly can towards my goals. The extension being the masculine, and the the grounding is the earthy feminine.

Balance is never static. Relationships are a dance. What I am able to do is to show up. Stretch myself. Keep my gaze steady. Focus on my breath. Remember myself in the face of the other. Face my dark and my light. Give and receive. Be responsible to myself and respect the other. Be open to change, yet stay steady. And eventually...I will Fall. Just as we do this cycle again and again. Just as I try the pose again and again.

Cleaning House

It's always a good day to start anew. It's the changing of the guards this week. Today marks the Jewish New Year: time to review, reveal and release this past year. We review our actions, both positive and imperfect, and cleanse those old ideas, beliefs and behaviors that no longer serve. Just in time! With September 21st rolling around, we officially get the change of seasons from Summer to Autumn. I love the season change. I am actually a big fan of change, so I like to travel light. Minimizing the excess allows you to move easily. On Saturday we move into the sign Libra, which rules our relationships. We have come through a two-and-a-half year cycle regarding relationship lessons. What we can learn is how to take responsibility and mature. I have personally had groundbreaking lessons in this area over the past several years. It doesn't always go the way I would like, and so I am faced with many old ideas and habits to let go of. As we wind up 2012, it is time to release what no longer serves the most important relationship to spirit and our service to the world-at-large. My focus at this time of year is to modify my diet, to cleanse myself of the bad habits that creep up and recommit to my purity. Since I have moved (again) I have recommitted to releasing what is outdated and am in tune-up mode.

Ways to detoxify:

• Gratitude List: Focus on what you DO have, instead of the lack.
• Healthy Habits: Your body is your true home. It's time to clean house and rid your body of excess.
• Refine your diet & move your body: Move energy out.
• Breathing and Meditation: Sit with yourself and see what comes up. The thoughts and feelings that arise, when observed, will move through you. They are the old thoughts. It's like when you detox from sugar—at first you crave sugar, then it moves through your system.
• Service: Be happy. Spreading your joy and giving your time to someone is more of a gift that any charity or amount of money. Cultivate your own joy and share it with other.
• Intention Setting: Reconnect with the intention you set at the beginning of 2012. Where are you with it? Recommit. You have 3 months to fulfill it.

As I trot off to an exciting new adventure, speaking at a Women's Leadership Conference, I am struck by the opportunities that have opened up to me in the last months. Dreams and fantasies I never knew I had are coming true. Little girl wishes have been made real. I sit with myself, in my own presence and love. With no one and nothing to rely on or give me permission, I say "yes" once again. The way I bravely do. I throw everything away to see what returns. And say "yes" to the new that is washing in with the tides. This adventure is built on the daily tasks we follow through with and the dreams we never even knew we had.

Letting Go of Perfection

"If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly." - Gilbert Chesterton

I love this quote, because it completely challenges the perfectionist in me. Perfectionism breeds procrastination. If I continually wait until I am prepared enough, I may be waiting a long time. Perfectionism is elusive, and a moving target. Since I am constantly growing and evolving, I have come to the habit of putting it out there, whether I am ready or not. You guys have been a great help to me. So thank you!

When I was a child, my mother was a wonderful artist, yet it seemed that she never finished a painting. I remember an unfinished portrait of my father and brother on an easel in my parents' bedroom that remained there until finally the divorce of my parents spawned the sale of our family home. It was curious to me that my mother had such talent, and yet could not continue to grow because she was stuck on finishing the painting perfectly. The fact that I was raised to color inside the lines has often been the bane of my existence, for I was good at it, and yet my natural artistic style is much more childlike than lifelike.

The quality of perfectionism was instilled in me from my paternal side as well. My father could wrap both legs around his head, and because my body structure and genetics came from the same pool, I could join in on the party tricks. However, the talents that I had often prevented me from trying the things I was not good at. If I couldn't do it perfectly, I wouldn't want to do it. Or what's worse, if I did one thing amazingly well, I would balk at the idea of following it up.

Taking a risk to do something badly is one of the most liberating experiences you may have. I remember my ex-boyfriend telling me that I was so bad at being in a relationship, that I was actually good at it. At the time he and I first came together, I had fallen apart. I had a fire in my house and was a little homeless, my car broke down for good in the parking lot, and I was an emotional wreck. I said, "So you love me even though I'm a mess?" And he said, "Baby, I love you BECAUSE you're a mess." And that was all I needed to hear.

Being human is messy. We are imperfect. We hurt each other. We mess up. We try again. In terms of the yoga, it really permeates all areas of life. Yet, in terms of the practice, what better example than to try Crow Pose, play with Dragonfly (depicted above), or attempt to bind your Side Angle Pose? If we never try the things we aren't good at, we never fail, but we also don't excel.

Green Hygiene

I am mid-holiday weekend, and I realize that most of you are probably taking this moment to unwind and not worry about counting calories, as you enjoy that margarita with your chips and guacamole. You will start fresh on Tuesday, and there is nothing wrong with that. Being in the fitness and self-care business, I enjoy a reverse schedule. Holidays and weekends are the most populated days for classes at your local studio or gyms. My work days can begin as early as 6am and end as early as 12 noon or even begin at 7pm. That said, I have decided to give my digestive system a holiday. I am taking a break and I am opting for green drinks instead.

When I post or speak about green juices or cleansing and detoxing, I get a lot of inquiries. My sense is that 'detox' and 'cleanse' have become code words for 'crash diet', but just the same, fueling your body with some highly nutritious greens can only be beneficial, as it will provide you with antioxidants, anti-inflammatory veggies will improve your skin and your digestive system, and give you energy. Since I am taking this day to do all green drinks I thought I would share a few tips.

* Avoid fruit juice.

Fruit juice is loaded with sugars. Not only is this highly caloric, but it will spike your insulin levels. Better to opt for green veggie juices. Even carrots and beets are very high in sugar, so I suggest that you veer towards the more highly nutritious and less sugary green veggies.

*Dark greens are good for your blood. 

The darker the veggie, the more nutritional value it has. For instance, iceberg lettuce has little nutritional value, as opposed to spinach which is a darker green. Greens help to alkalize your blood. They also taste really good when juiced and blended with additions like ginger or lemon. Try green peppers, spinach, kale, cucumber, romaine and parsley.

*Add some flavor.

Ginger, lemon, cayenne or turmeric, are all delicious when added to your green juice. If you need to sweeten it up, green apple or mint can be refreshing.

* Chill out.

When juice is kept very cold, it tastes much better. I have been getting my fresh pressed juice from Kreation. They keep their juices chilled and are especially delicious on these hot Summer days. It is optimal to juice during the hot Summer or Spring months, rather than the cooler Winter and Fall months, when we require warm things to balance our bodies. 

*Combinations matter.
Kale and spinach can be very bitter alone. I like a spinach, celery, kale, lemon, parsley, romaine. To be honest, I prefer to go to get a fresh pressed juice. Although it is expensive (up to $8.00 for 16 oz), the time it takes, and the equipment needed, plus clean up...well, I consider it worth the money. 

Juices will boost your immunity, build your vitality, purify you (not that you need it!). If you add cayenne, it will boost your metabolism, while ginger will improve your digestion. Other additions that could raise the nutritional value of your juice would be Vitamineral Green, Spirulina, wheatgrass shots, flax, or hemp seeds. I like to keep it simple myself. 

Since we are into September, and saying good-bye to the indulgence that Summer brings, it is natural to want to clean out. Adding a green juice daily this month would be a wonderful replacement for one of your mid-day snacks. It will give you an energy boost and help to keep your system clean. It's just good clean green hygiene.

Self-Care With A Twist

A friend recently sent me the following quote from the Dalai Lama:

"Take care of your thoughts for they become your words.
 Take care of your words for they become your actions.
 Take care of your actions for they become your habits.
 Take care of your habits for they become your character.
 Take care of your character for it becomes your destiny.
 Take care of your destiny for it becomes your life.
 There is no higher religion than the truth."

This quote came at a very timely moment for me. The bottom line is that you cannot twist the truth. The very nature of being human is maintenance. I need to check my thoughts, habits and actions on a daily basis so that I am able to truly guide my life. Yes, there are meant-to-be's in life, yet many things are within our scope of choice. Returning to a daily practice is what helps to keep my decisions aligned with what I claim.

This time of year, with the change of seasons, reminds us to begin anew. It's clean-up time. With yoga, we check our thoughts and pause before speaking. We take correct action, despite conflicting desires, and we focus on self-care with healthy habits. The foods we eat, the physical exercises and whatever emotional work we may be doing, as well as our actions of service help us to guide our lives gently towards an overarching love of humanity. One tiny action towards loving others can, in fact, be loving yourself.

Yoga incorporates twists to wring out the toxins from the internal organs, improve our ability to assimilate (truths) and digest what we know. Take the time for self-care today with a twist. Instead of twisting the truth to match your desires, try twisting your body!

Add a Reclining Twist for a gentle way to begin and end your practice.

Have a wonderful day.

The Heart Remains A Child

Me, my brother Dave, and Felix the cat

Who are you here to be? What is sitting in your heart center that is here to be expressed? It is probably not that different than something you knew and felt when you were little. There is a part of you that is exactly the same as you were when you were three years old. A subtle energy that has been running through you and sitting in your center for your entire life span. A piece of you that no matter what has happened or not happened, regardless of what you have endured or received, still stirs the hope within you. That is you. The real you.

I am astonished and amazed at the innocence of my resilient heart. I feel that sense of faith that allows me to start over and begin anew. Again. And again. This faithful forgetting. This sacred amnesia that I have been graced with, which keeps this heart open, alive and intact. My purity is not untainted and pristine, but that I show up in the day, completely new, despite the events that may have weathered me. This involves being present to my heart's true utterings. Of course, I cannot be sure what is true for you, but I have a feeling that you have a direct line into your hearts truth that is governed in a way that works especially for you.

Today, stay very close to that being within you. That Child Self. That self knows what is right, what it wants, and what brings joy to your heart. Let that be your compass. When I am unclear as to the destination, I close my eyes, I place my hand on the center of my chest (or sometimes tap on that center) and I breathe. I let all the feelings come. Sensing the world around me, I feel the presence I am sitting in, then I connect and trust.

Here's a tip: God is not a genie in a bottle.

Although the trend towards manifesting and creating your reality is valid, guess what? Whatever you can think up in your head, the Universe is better at knowing how to deliver it than you are. You just remember, it's all there for you. It may arrive unexpectedly. If it makes your heart sing, in that 3-year-old way...enjoy it.

I love treats and surprises. I am programmed to receive. I love a gift that is wrapped up, and the not knowing what's inside. So I connect with a feeling, and I trust the Universe to decide how to wrap it up and deliver it to me. As long as I stay connected to that Child Self, I can stay open.

Take this day to be that child in your heart. Dance, play hard, laugh. Cry when you get hurt. Do something that has no purpose other than to celebrate the day.

Act As If...

I don't feel great today. I don't. I know that I will go teach today and I will find a way, an angle, and that I will feel better in the action, but I don't always wake up feeling great when I have a client or when I must teach a class. I remember one of my old students saying to me: "You are always in such a good mood", and me thinking...."Really? Have you met me???" You can not judge your insides by other people's outsides.

As we walk through the world and rub up against each others energies, we assume that people feel as amazing as they seem. Most people are out there, putting on a good face and just doing the best they can. Since I pride myself on authenticity (...and let's just say "cheerful" authenticity, to tip my hat to the 'real' me - light and deep, just the way I was wired.), I very much dislike when someone passes me in the street and tells me to "SMILE", or when I read the chronic positivity on Facebook. Each person's wall an ad for how awesome they are, how great they are doing and why you should watch their (Facebook) show. Each person posting their personal creed and advice as to how you can have a life as great as theirs: here's how.

There is that saying that I learned in acting class: "Act as if..." Essentially we can act our way into correct thinking, but it is less often that we can think our way into correct action. It can certainly take me some time, to get myself into the right head space. When I do the right behavior, it's uncanny that the inside begins to match the outside. That doesn't mean I need to plaster a phony smile on my face and be perfect, BUT I can show up, not cancel my class or postpone any part of my life until I "feel" like doing something. If I allow my feelings to run the show, I am going to be all over the place. My feelings change daily, if not hourly. Like the waves on the ocean. I get to navigate what is there, but not allow it to take me off course.

So here I am. Today. Not exactly perfect. When you walk by me today, you may tell me to "smile!" You may not understand why tears roll freely down my face while I am in line at the cleaners. Or why I am quiet in my own world on my yoga mat with a fierce focused gaze, or is that a glare? One thing I know: I will show up and take the actions of a person who is happy, joyous and free. I will help where I can. Contemplate the glory of nature, and the sounds of children, not my own. I will keep my head up, my eyes open and my heart soft. Because I know that is how I will act the day I fall in love again.

Today: BOW Pose. For those who want it wrapped up in a nice neat little bow. How about assuming the position!