The Father, Sun and the Story of My Heart

Today, August 8th, marks the 8 year anniversary of my father's passing.The story has been told, and is open for interpretation. I am reminded of the courage it takes to continue to open our hearts in faith, even when we have been pained by loss or heartbreak. There is nothing more heartbreaking than being faced with the inevitable: our mortality, and the remembrance that life is impermanent. This is a reality we deal with each day, and yet the desire to live must carry within it a gratitude of remembering and the faith of forgetting.

Though he is no longer with us, I remember what an example my father was for me. He was the person who brought yoga into my life when I was a child. I thought that he was invincible. It seemed he could do anything. He had mastered some of the most difficult yoga asanas and pranayamas. He was strong and flexible, and had a positive, yet aggressive nature.

In the end, it was my father’s yoga practice that really struck me. His ability to show up at the mat on a daily basis, even as he was dying, was completely inspiring. He would say, “Other than this cancer, this is the healthiest I’ve ever been.” He would also say that the yoga helped to alleviate the symptoms of the cancer and the chemotherapy. One of the greatest gifts he said he received in his last days was the gift of receiving. How open his heart had become to others during this vulnerable time.

What a gift, to show up as we are. Today is a new day. This is the day that I have. Exactly as I am. Right now. Today I show up, brokenhearted … and full of life. How many mornings have I woken up and taken this day for granted when life was just too much? I often feel too vulnerable with my heartbreaks (and I have many). But how to open up and offer my vulnerability to the Universe and give thanks for another day, that is the lesson yoga offers.

As the years go on, I find my shoulders creeping forward just a bit more, perhaps as protection from the inevitable, my human vulnerability. I have protected my heart, physically, by caving my shoulders and my chest in. So as a daily practice, I find a way to roll my shoulders back and down, to lift my heart to the sky and dunk my head back, opening my throat and surrendering to the heavens. Thank you. Thank you, Universe, for another day. Thank you for this heartbreak. Thank you for this cancer, and for another opportunity to have faith. Thank you for another day of forgetting. Thank you for another day of remembering those who have shown me the strength of opening.

To open your heart and celebrate vulnerability and the strength that comes from acknowledging it, try poses such as Up Dog, Sphynx, Cobra, Camel and Wheel. I also like connecting with the beating of the heart in Supta Bada Konasana, my father’s final pose into his last days.

Heart-Opening in the Light of the Sun

With Summertime comes childhood memories, and recollections of Summers past. Wonderful heart-opening memories, like falling in love. Painful and eye-opening memories like the death of my father. One thing I find for sure: Summer sheds a light upon me and lifts the veil of Winter, revealing all that I can handle and more. At times, this can feel like it is too much, but over the years I have learned from my life experience that nothing is 'too much'. So I have committed to opening my heart to whatever the Universe brings me.

Sphinx Pose on the streets of NYC.

I have discovered that in the world of art and the theatre of the heart, everything is useful. Everything is beautiful. In my youth, I often felt that my emotions would be too large for the world to handle. Today, I have experienced the opposite, because I am not too much and no situation is too much for my large open heart to handle, process and give back from. I have trained myself to channel my emotions into creativity and re-creation: I re-create my body by harnessing the power of my emotions, or do something productive with my heart-break, like write a book or paint my feelings onto a canvas. Art and creativity reside in the home of the heart. The word "heart" even contains the word "art"!


Working from the outside-in, you can train yourself to open your heart by taking actions. You can do subtle exercises, like cultivating an awareness of the energetic heart. One simple meditation you can do is place your hand right there in the center of your chest, breathe into it and feel. Mentally remind yourself of your gratitude by listing 5 things you are grateful for. Gratitude enlarges your heart.


Yoga provides a variety of heart-opening postures. The most lovely and subtle is Sphinx Pose. It is very gentle on your back, as it opens the chest cavity and the shoulders. Think about presenting your heart to the Universe, and being thankful for your gift. An exercise in true humility at the grace that rises from within you in the face of life's terrain. This life is a beauty. It is waiting for you with open arms.

Feeling is Healing

The pointless tragedy that happened in Colorado last week had me dumbstruck and in shock, just like the rest of the world. The idea that in one moment, so many lives could be altered on a random Friday night in an unsuspecting entertainment outing. As I read the news on Twitter, Facebook and the internet (almost instantly), it was very difficult to process. I don't know that I have a file for this particular category in my brain. It isn't political, personal or logical. No matter how I try to spin it, there doesn't seem to be a correct intelligent response. Who can I become angry with and blame? If I don't get angry and point the finger, does that mean I condone this? Compassion and imagination will not allow me to completely check-out and ignore it. If I don't use this to prove my case, if I don't get behind my cause and my belief systems, if I don't personalize it and make it about me, if I don't ignore the problem (saying it was a troubled person, a symptom, an accident), or if I don't try to immediately solve it with a healing salve of white light and reason...where does this leave me?


I have experienced personal loss, and some events in my life that have not made sense, so as I reach into those moments, I try to stretch to relate to the event. What occurs to me today, is that sometimes things don't have a logical answer. They don't make sense. There are mistakes. There are tragedies that will alter us. In what way, we do not know. When I choose to sit in the moment and weather the storm in my heart, and do nothing to fix myself or it, I find that what is left is simply feeling. The feeling of grief and compassion, beneath the logic. Beneath the fear and anger. Beneath the knowledge. What sits in me is simply my heart, breaking open. And it occurs to me that sometimes when things do not make sense, the only thing left to do is to sit and allow my heart to break right open. It is in the feeling that the healing begins.


As I breathe, I do remember: "Pain is God's Hand In My Heart."

Is your bikini ready for YOU?

I have just spent the past 10 days with girls, all shapes and sizes from ages 13 to 65. From women who have given birth to 4 children, to 13-year-old girls with pure white skin, some hippy, some busty, even cover girls that are on the magazines challenging you to get bikini-ready. And guess what? We were ALL bikini-ready. It probably helped that is was scorching hot and that there were no men present, otherwise we may have banished ourselves from wearing that two-piece for fear we would be ranked. However, what I have found is that men are not really the judgers...men just like naked women. They like women's bodies, and those "last 5 lbs." don't really matter much. In fact, they probably don't even notice. Really, the freedom to just put that bikini on and be among other women who are not the same, and to accept ourselves, actually gives others the permission to do so too. Perhaps to allow the vulnerability and softness that mirrors our very own bodies is enough.

I found myself in conversations with young girls about what foods they should avoid to have a better body. Girls with awesome young bodies, hiding and covering them (if I knew then what I know now...), completely unaware of their perfection. I wanted so badly to take away the self-consciousness. To give back what it has taken me 30+ years to know. I shared with them that if I had a regret, it was that in my youth I worried and thought about and criticized my body too much. This knowing took time and experience.Ultimately my body and mind found their way into a relationship. A very accepting relationship, that has seen me through weight gain and loss, muscle tone, broken bones, broken hearts, exhaustion and resilience. Just like with any relationship, it took some challenges, time and experiences and to come through the other side. Oh to fall in love with this awesome and beautiful vehicle that encases the depth of emotion, that has the ability to enjoy sensations like getting wet when jumping into the ocean and getting to see with my eyes a magical sunset.

Of course, teenagers have an extra challenge. The hormones that cause the body to shift and morph. We find attraction, and begin to measure ourselves against others. Because they are noticing change for the first time, they do not realize the body is dynamic. I wondered, at that age what I would look like when I grew up, what my body would ultimately be. The funny thing is, it has never stopped shifting and growing and changing. Today, there is less elasticity and fat in some places, yet in others (like my back!!), I am seeing more folds. So the real change has come with the comfort in this body as it is. Soft belly, sometimes fleshier than other times.

The question remains: How to become accepting of this body? This life is a moment in time. The body is in constant change and flux. There is no perfection, except for in the unfoldment. The body is unfolding and falling right into place. When I take my clothes off and put my bikini on, I am saying "YES" to my body exactly as it is. 

So I say not are you ready for your bikini, but is your bikini ready for you?! Watch out, here I come.

Home Is Where The Heart Is: "You Are Here"

Summertime is for enjoying the fruits of our labor. It is a time to ground into the nurture that brings joy into your heart and supports your ventures and adventures. My home base is very mobile at the moment, so I am learning to center into my true home, which is my heart. The connection to the heart is highlighted by the full moon on July 3rd. When the moon is full, there is a natural pull between your internal emotions and external expression. This particular full moon highlights how you can express your deepest self as you take authority in the world. We are all being asked to find this balance as we are being forced to revolutionize and evolve out of the comforts of home base. Many of us are being thrust out of the nest, yet are being called to take our tools with us. In the past two months, I have found myself in Toronto, New Orleans, East Hampton, Ibiza and Provence. Without my below practices, I feel ungrounded, with little to give. Finding the connection to my heart is key. This featured video, from my Marilyn Denis Show appearance, is for the arms, which are extensions of the heart. It's the way we hold our loved ones, give, and receive. When your foundation is in flux, it is essential to find the constant. That means home is with you wherever you go. I suggest some grounding practices that you can take with you into the world. As I travel and move, here are some ways that I find my home base:

1. Heart as Home base: Heart-based meditations. You can literally meditate on the feeling in your heart. As you breathe, notice the physical sensation. Allow your emotions to flow freely, and genuinely receive yourself. If you begin this way daily, you will find a true home base. I do this 20-60 minutes each day, no matter when or where I am.

2. Body as Home base: The next constant is my physical body. I get my heart-rate up, pumping my blood to the extremities. Walking is completely available no matter where you are and is my favorite way to see a city when I am away from my home town, Los Angeles. Try the suggested 20-60 minute daily dose.

3. Spirit as Home base: You may have other habits, techniques, and objects that symbolize and connect you with spirit such as music, objects, practices. Perhaps a spiritual book, mala beads, or a crystal. Find your personal touchstone.

As the days get longer, feel your way through. Create home base no matter where you go. Enjoy the fruits of your labor. Reach out to others and share the love you have cultivated from within.

Total Body Toning Yoga Workout

Summer is finally here. It's too late to be perfect, so why not simply commit to the joy of moving your body just because it feels excellent to do so. What is sexier than moving your body and breathing? I just came off of an energetic weekend in Bridgehampton where I got to share my Yogalosophy. Here is a video I shot last year with some of the red carpet yoga moves I shared with the East Coasters over that weekend. You too can have a leaner, hotter body with my total body toning yoga workout. Immediately following Bridgehampton, I headed out to Ibiza to test out the sexy. Guess what? It really worked! Try it!  And have wonderful week, wherever you may be.

Exercise: Father of the Body/Diet: Mother of the Body

I have a theory that works for me, which is that diet is the mother of the body, and that exercise is the father. The food is the support and the nurturing that sustains me, and gives me nourishment and the grounding that I need to give life to all of my dreams. The exercise stretches and pushes me past my limitations, inspires me to move forward and challenges me to develop strength and independence. 

Of course many of us have complicated relationships with our original parents, and tend to develop complicated relationships to food and exercise! How often have I been too strict and unforgiving in my exercise routine, or imbalanced in my diet? Our foundation is made up of these simple actions and habits, and I have learned to self-parent through trial and error. Taking the best of what each parent has given me.

As a child, I had a tumultuous relationship with my father, he was very young when he had me; he was exploring and getting to know himself. We used to joke that we grew up together. When I was about age 6 or 7, my father began to practice yoga. He was an Iyengar master. I remember our first family yoga book was Richard Hittleman. Our family would even go to a group class together, and my parents planned to start a company called PEP: Productivity Enhancement Program, which would bring yoga to offices, so instead of a coffee break, there would be a yoga break. Clearly my parents were about 30 years ahead of their time, because PEP never happened, but my father continued his yoga practice in the entry hall of our Bel Air home. Happy Days would blare in the background, and it would not be unusual to walk down stairs and find dad doing his Darth Vader breathing in some contortionist pose with his leg behind his head. As effortless as his yogic poise seemed, he could just as easily unravel himself and lash out with his temper. So I have no illusions about yoga eliminating all negativity, though without yoga, I am sure it could have been worse.

I learned to emulate my dad. To assume the position. My father was a business man, but a yogi at home. In an effort to get close to my father, I would contort myself for his praise, but moreover to experience what he was experiencing. If I could be in a pose like the one he was in, if I could read the books he read, then maybe I could understand him better. I studied from the Iyengar books as he did, and would awaken and copy the book - just like my dad. After my father passed away, I was in my first downward dog, and realized that he had passed something on to me that connected me to an entire lineage. It took me until he passed away to really understand what he gave me. And now I get to take the best of what he gave me, and pass that along to others. His daily practice was constant throughout his 60 (full!) years. His tenacity to overcome all obstacles  was contagious, and I adopted these qualities as my own.

My mother was born in a displaced person's camp in Germany. She came over on a boat after the war when she was three. Infact, as a little girl, she taught her own parents how to speak English. She would go to school and come to home with the latest lessons. She raised myself and my brother with loving patience and humor... and she always kept us entertained with Rolling Stones impressions. As she would cook the macrobiotic meals for our family, she would imitate Mick Jagger, singing into a wooden spoon. She would have us entertained for hours. We would watch Steve Martin on Saturday Night Live, and that irreverence and humor colored my entire childhood. Mom was a natural nurturer and teacher. I definitely got my teaching abilites and humor from mom. Yet she always had a tendency to take care of others first, and then lick the serving bowls clean for her own dinner. I had to keep the nurture, but learn to feed myself first.This month we want to find comfort and nurture ourselves. If you don’t have time to cook, Karma Chow is a great vegan delivery service. For an inspiring yoga workout, download my FREE Balance Routine. Diet is the mother of the body and exercise the father. Happy Birthday to my mom, on June 27th. And Happy Fathers Day to all the fathers! Complicated or not... we are grateful for your inspiration.