Meeting my shadow is essential to being comfortable in my own skin. My self acceptance is deep in my bones. Any parts of me that remain hidden have a subtle psychic hold of me. This has been a year of great depth for me, and I intend to go deeper. Where are these fears hiding? Deep within my body, I hear the cries of the child that has been abandoned. Then there is the reckless risk taker that throws it all away; avoids responsibility, knowingly setting the place on fire: my Inner Teenager. I have a damsel in distress who wants to be rescued, or drown in the endless sorrows and ugliness of her own overt emotions. There are parts of me that are apathetic and do not care. I have selfish parts of me that only do the right thing because I don't want to get caught. Lazy parts of me that don't want to do the work like everybody else or stay awake and aware to the things I need to work on. Let's open the doors and invite these demons in for tea, the way we say we will when we speak wisdom. Many of us talk about the shadow; however, it is often after the fact, once the issue is resolved and wisdoms have been gained. What if, today, we reveal the open wound that is not yet healed? Let's face the place where there is no fast resolution. Sit in the discomfort and awkwardness of how truly vulnerable it is to be in the "I don't know". Today, I don't. I don't have the answer for you.
Yes to yoga. To sitting and facing the darkness.
Yes to hitting the edge.
Yes to the feeling and emotions that arise in the meditation. To the awkward blankness that meets me in that 20 minute space today.
Yes to green. Green tea, green vegetable juice and nature. To the choices I make that support self-love and transformation.
Yes to being naked. Ridding myself of any habit that puts a wedge between my truth and the image I project. No coffee today for me.
Yet none of these is the whole truth. Always, laying dormant beneath these routines is the darkness.
It's scary to open my closet to you this way. I don't have a yoga trick for you that will eliminate the discomfort you feel in your life that doesn't quite fit anymore. I don't have the perfect "treat"meant for you. Or the treat that offers you no consequences.
My advice today is simply this: go deeper.
Find acceptance and embrace the parts of you that repel you most (clue: what disturbs you in another may be the very key to your own shadow). Invite them for a green tea and a shadow dance.