New beginnings. New Year, New You.
These are the things we hear as we enter a new year. As if at the stroke of midnight on December 31st, the slate is wiped clean and we are immediately stripped of our past patterns and habits. We can begin again, refreshed, renewed and ready for another chance at perfection by striving for our loftiest goals and setting grand intentions.
Perhaps it's a simple step. A series of choices and decisions in the present moment make the future. Each moment is an opportunity to open up the places that are hiding love. The subconscious places where we choose not to look are what truly drive us toward our apparent destiny. What if, instead of moving and climbing toward the goal...and away from the very thing that motivates us...we chose to look beneath the surface at what is really there.
What if I could look at my selfishness squarely, head on and see for myself it's not that bad. What if beneath the selfishness is a sense of lack? What if I could admit my need to be right at all costs? What if I could announce my desire for love and my fear of unlovability? I wonder if sitting with these motivators could disable their power. I wonder if inviting them into the room, with the lights on would make them interesting company. I wonder if the act of "sitting with" and ownership could change the nature of the beast, the same way that the observer alters the science experiment.
Transformation happens one step at a time. The metamorphosis appears to happen in an instance, yet the tedious and daily preparation are required. Each day of sitting and waiting contains a great feat of inner strength. I feel this for myself prior to any peak moment in my journey.
Just before a giant leap, there are psychic steps I take. Primarily, letting go and releasing the need to control what comes next. As the new year begins, my opportunity for transformation is supported by the need to return to the inner workings of my heart. Finding where the fear lives, and loving it into submission. These are the actions I take. Not running, but slowing down. Feeling the burn.
Find ways to be present to what is hidden. Allow the alchemy to occur. Be still. It's January. Time to go within. This stillness is where it all begins. Every single goal you have starts now. Begin it now by being with yourself. That is the one most important first step to your transformation.