Saturday, January 23, 2016

Awakening to the Self

Awakening is spoken about, yet rarely felt. Many of us seek this feeling, sensing that it will alter us for the better. What is it to awaken? To see things as they truly are in the now. Lights on and no secrets. Sometimes harsh. Too bright. Too much information. An instant download of things exactly as they are. No filter.

 I heard a quote that said "Awakening is the ultimate blow to the ego." ...Until now, I did not know. "What was I thinking...?"Mind blown. I have experienced it in this way: Like I've been punched right in the gut or slapped in the face. Made to laugh. Had my hand slammed in a door. Time and time again, I find myself waking up.

  • When the planes crashed into the towers.
  • When my father died while I was out of the room making a call. 
  • Watching my siblings wake up slowly on a Sunday morning and witnessing my brother tell them their father is dead. "Is this really happening?" I could feel myself think as the moment unfurled. 
  • The blows I have taken, literally in the face by some men I never knew except in that intimate moment which forever branded my soul that June night. 
  • The sound of lightning so loud that I stopped to take note, and later that day encountered a woman who had seen the surfer who had been struck in that moment. 
  • The stark naked feeling of a two thousand person audience that was palpable to me as a 14 year old performing on stage for the first time. Me, gasping silently. 
  • The light of the sun shining in my eyes. 
  • My father's rage cutting me through the pain in his eyes. 
  • My first fluffy cat, getting stuck under an oak wood chair, and the herculean surge running through my adrenaline laden 3 year old body coming to the rescue. 


After a particular heightened experience I had with a shaman,  a simple profound thought arose within me: the gift it EXACTLY WHO YOU ARE. Nothing added to that. To not be afraid to see the self. Naked. No decoration. It happens in a flash.

Just a thought for you, on this regular Saturday.

Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water.
After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water.

Praying by Alex Grey

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