I'd like to take this a step further and say that the outside literally changes when we change our insides. What you see and encounter outside of yourself is a direct reflection of your internal world, and as you shift and change internally, your outer landscape literally morphs. I have a tendency to see the glass as half full. It may be my genetics, my conditioning, or my history. It may be my body chemistry or my nature. The first matter to address is my perception. Can I view my circumstances in a more positive light? Could my current challenge actually be of benefit to me? Whatever it is, when life has pushed me to the wall, and I have bumped up against intense and increasing dissatisfaction, I hit a critical mass, and soon have nowhere left to go but up. I am pushed to make a decision to see things in a more positive light. I choose the life that I have as perfect, and I start being nicer to myself. I slow down and stop trying to force the outside to be different, but begin to change my own attitude. Soon enough, I feel an internal shift, and then....the outside follows suit. My relationships seem to change. The view and scenery begin to become more harmonious and my personal struggles ease up. Miraculously.
Life is a mirror of our inner experience. Our relations with others directly reflect our relationship with the Self. If you are experiencing conflict with another, first try seeing this trouble as a gift. Remind yourself that the "other" is not the issue, and turn inward to come to terms with your own inner conflict. If the "other" is critical, where are you critical of yourself? If the "other" doesn't hear you, where are you abandoning yourself?
Here are some ways to begin to shift internally rather than place the responsibility outside of yourself:
- Take 10 minutes to say out loud to the universe what you are afraid of. Then sit for 10 minutes in silence, listening and opening up to the answer.
- Write down 5 things you love about yourself and that you are doing well.
- Write down 3 ways you can make changes in yourself to find a solution.
- Be open to change, and listen.
- When communicating with another, especially in a tough situation, try to repeat back to the person what they just said, mirroring them to make sure you have clarity.