Mother

Mother. As I looked at the word "mother", I noticed the word "other" contained within it, so I became curious about the significance of the letter "M". When I looked it up, here is what I found: "M" is the letter that represents spiritual leadership. People with the letter "M" leading their names are usually courageous and self-reliant, yet they love being around others, love family, they work long hours to get security, they're tireless, tranquil, and they are not complainers. For those wondering about the negative qualities, here they are: they can be quick to anger, rash and impatient, and can be a total buzz kill.

I felt this was quite significant when considering the mother. (Plus the fact that my name begins with the letter "M"). The mother is a tireless spiritual leader in that she requires nothing of you, yet you are a direct expression of her. Although this is not all of our personal experience, this may be the ideal version. Nonetheless, negative or positive, your mother birthed you and was your vehicle into the earthly realm. I can think of nothing more tireless and giving.

I often look at the mothering I had. My mother, who's birthday is this week on June 27th (Happy birthday mom!), was only 20 when she had me. Just shy of being a teenager, this young woman was tireless, and the grounding force of our family fun. Mom gave me puppet shows each night and drew with me. She took an interest in my skills, particularly my curiosity, and painted a picture of security that only a girl of 20 could. In a way, my mother was more of a friend than a typical mother. Thank goodness for her Russian mother who worked in the coal mines herself as a teen, then the cleaners and the bakery as an adult, but mostly thanks to her mother's mother. This Grand Mother kept everyone in line, and may have even been a bit of a buzz kill herself, but was also the grounding and stabilizing force.

I am not a mother. I inhabit a body that has not given birth, and I do not have little ones to mind or nurture. Where does my maternal energy find expression? I have channeled that energy into my work ("M" people are also workaholics, did I mention that?). I remember that when I became a fitness instructor, I felt real love. The kind of love that I felt was indestructible and fully in the moment. I remember feeling that I loved my students for what I could give to them, without return. That kind of love, without needing back, is a feeling I treasure and experience mostly when I teach groups. Coincidentally, when I teach I usually see people as their child self, and I can only feel overwhelming love for them.

Beyond my mothering or the mother in me there is the Mother energy. The Great Mother. Mother Nature. The Goddess. To be held by the Mother. To be tirelessly and spiritually guided. Many would cower at the wrath that could befall one. But in my experience, when I fully surrender to the feeling of being supported and held in that Mother energy, all is well.