We have reached that point in the year where we live in the most darkness. Many of us have been trained to see the dark as bad. The good guys wear white and the bad guys wear black. We actually need both the darkness and the light to be in balance. I am currently directing my love internally. My heart has been feeling an absence of love, and I am being called to turn love towards myself, as well as to take a look at my old beliefs and conditioning related to love and loving.
It has come to my attention that my truest desire is to feel a sense of belonging. I am reminded that the moments I have sensed my belonging the most have been when I am giving to a classroom of people. I used to say that teaching has taught me everything I know about loving, for I feel love because of what I am able to give. This is an indicator to me that I want to find places where my giving is received. Where I am able to give and appreciate.
There is a phrase: "let it begin with me", which reminds me that if I am wanting to feel loved, not only must I supply myself with the love that I am longing for, but that I can be the source of love. I have a feeling that this very act, becoming the source of love, could quite possibly deliver me the sense of belonging that I so deeply crave.
Meanwhile, the only place that I can turn is inward, toward the dark, and sit in the uncertainty. This is where I am able to sit with the softer and more deeply vulnerable aspects of my nature, and learn how to give myself that gentle attention. That constant and nurturing acceptance. And so I say to you, don't be afraid of the dark, for it is there where all the mystery, magic, and faith lie. Dormant and waiting. For you.