The process of transformation is incredibly powerful, but it is not easy. There is a quote that I love that I used in my VISION MAT that says:
"Make no mistake about it—enlightenment is a destructive process. It has nothing to do with becoming better or being happier. Enlightenment is the crumbling away of untruth. It's seeing through the facade of pretense. It's the complete eradication of everything we imagined to be true."
In my lifetime, I have gone through many little deaths in order to shed my skin and experience rebirth. Collectively, this is happening all around us. In the west, it seems our entire system is turning upside-down. Mostly because we are taught always to be number one; at the top of our game. Even within the new age spiritual community, there is a fear of the dark and an addiction to light. I have found that my deepest, most intimate moments with myself, have given me the most power. I have come through the very darkness that I have been taught to disclaim. As long as I perceive it as "out there", I can blame it on everyone else and be a victim. When I claim it, I own the power that comes from facing it within and developing the skills to use its power to transform.
My need to connect and to feel deeply has been satisfied by the confrontation that occurs during periods of intensity. While exercising, there is often a point when I feel that I want to give up. It is at that exact point of challenge when the part of me that wants to break through, gets stronger. This has happened when I hit my threshold physically, emotionally and spiritually. So, I say that if this feeling brings me closer to my goal, bring it on!
During my trip to India, I found that many of my most valued securities seemed to dissolve right before me. This feeling of letting go and being out of control has not been my favorite, but I have learned to face the devastation of my own structures with a humble thank-you. Surely witnessing this process first hand in the face of less-than-cushy circumstances is a great teacher that even the lowest and the darkest may be infused with great light if met with humility. Destruction of the old structures is necessary if we are to build new, more useful vessels. So, if things around you start to fall away, let them. Release what is no longer needed and watch what will arise in its place. Easier said than done? Yes. Am I in it with you? Yes. On the path. Right beside you.
Many thanks in gratitude this month, for the loss...and whatever comes next.